yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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