i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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