They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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