i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
