just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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