Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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