She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
