i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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