look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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