It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
