she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
