Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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