that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
