I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
