I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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