I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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