somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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