Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
