I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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