Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
