What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
