from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
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Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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