he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize