I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
