my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So squirting runs in the family.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
