What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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