No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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