Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
