How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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