i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
