I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
