Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
