Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
