I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
