i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize