if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
