If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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