Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
