I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
