I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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