Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
