I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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