Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The adults are the big ones right?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize