Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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