i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
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I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
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Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize