If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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