She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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