My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
