is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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