Me. At least after what I've been through.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
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There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
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If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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