That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We talked him into tasing himself.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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