he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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