me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
