You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
