..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
