I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
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She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
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What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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