IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
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Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
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I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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